Childlike Faith

Tuesday 7th July 2009
Childlike Faith
What is your heart condition?
Tuesday is my most hectic day of the week. With 2 and 1 Bible Study (BS) on alternate weeks and two enrichment classes in the afternoon for Gayle, it’s truly a mad rush for the chauffeur.

So, on Tuesday afternoon, as usual after BS, I drove to Balmoral Plaza with another Mum, Phoebe. As we approach, it started to drizzle. By the time I got to see Gayle, it was already pouring. You see, Gayle loves Swim lessons and when she saw me approaching, the first thing she asked was, “Mom, are we going for swimming practice this evening?” “Well, if weather permits!” comes my reply. “Ok then, I WILL PRAY NOW!” she said. “Yes, pray for good weather, then we can go.” I said.

Because it started to pour so heavily, I offered to drive Phoebe home. After dropping Phoebe off, Gayle asked again, “So Mom, WE ARE GOING for swimming class later, right?” In my heart I was quite furious. Why is my daughter always testing and pushing her limits. How could she not see the overcast sky? So, in a very crisp and stern voice I replied, “Didn’t I tell you, we will go only if the weather permits? And I don’t think we can go because it doesn’t seem like the rain is going to stop.” …. goes a mightier than thou art tone.

Her next reply makes me crumble down to my utmost humble place in my heart and I want to cry!

“But Mom, the rain IS GOING TO STOP because I HAVE ALREADY PRAYED and we are going for the swim, right?”

I was lost for words for a moment. It had me thinking of a reality check on my own heart condition for our Lord Jesus Christ. Have I really been praying and not believing? Has my heart hardened and fill with worldly wisdom? Is my eyes fixed on Jesus or are they fixed on what my eyes can see only? Where is my childlike faith? I felt so small and lousy at that point. My tears just rolled down and I asked God for forgiveness. I apologized to her and said, “Yes, I am sorry and yes I am sure God heard your prayer, and the rain is going to stop, and we are going for swim class later. “ (Despite the heavy pouring rain)

An hour later just before Swim class starts, the sun shone so brightly and the early evening was so warm and beautiful. It was the most beautiful reflection of the sun on the waters I have ever enjoyed while soaking myself into God’s faithfulness and presence.

So, have our hearts hardened because of often “NO” as an answer to our prayers? Or have we grown tired of praying because we never get any response? Do we pray just because we feel we are obliged to? Have our prayers turned into a routine? Let us remember to search our hearts. Check and see where and how our heart conditions are. Ask God to soften our hearts and to create a clean heart in us (Psalm 51:10). And when we pray, let us expect something to happen. Let us learn to wait upon the Lord in expectancy and remember that our prayer is not just a poem recital. Remember all we need is a Childlike Faith.

God is Good! All the time!

First Love

First Love
Thursday, 18 September 2008

With all the shaky economy and the falling of Lehmann Brothers, and with speculation of AIG to be the next to go, this week is surely an overwhelming week for many especially for those with funds in investments.

This morning has been a very special day as I was waiting upon the Lord and reflecting on the moments of conversation that has taken placed during the Tuesday afternoon moms’ session.

Lena’s continuous comment over the past weeks on WanWan’s love and hunger for God is so great, this was because she is a new believer and the kind of experience every new believer will have. As for her (Lena), is different now because she has experienced it and is done with. And with the many things she has seen and witnessed, it is difficult for her to come back to that place. The remarks she made about being there before, the drive and love for God when she was a new Christian will never be the same now, and that she could not have the same fire she used to, and doesn’t want it because of her gift of empathy, something to this extend, got me really thinking and praying for her.

First of all, I really do not know what had happened and experiences she had gone through while her walk with the Lord. It seems there were many unhappiness or misunderstandings or even 1 or 2 rotten eggs, etc that may caused her to think that we can not have back our First Love with the Lord or the fact that she doesn’t want it because she could not stop crying. Yes, there may be times of lull period in our walk with the Lord, but I believe we should not even doubt God’s sovereignty and his love for us.

Secondly, I strongly believe that this is a lie from the enemy. God is longing for us to love him and has worn us about the height from which we have fallen and must repent from it.

And thirdly, I see WanWan’s experiencing God is so real and full of joy and I asked God to restore it back into my life once again. I want what she has and more, not only just for me but for my fellow mommy friends too! As God promises, Ask and ye shall be given.

God showed me that Lena’s ‘First Love’ has been eroded away and He wants her to have it back. This leads me to the reading of Revelation 2:1-7 and I started weeping. My spirit could not stop weeping and started praying for her. I smsed her with tears rolling down my cheeks and told her about God wanting her back and be reminded of the First Love she used to have for Him. By faith, I messaged her.

I went on checking on my email thereafter and continued with my e-daily bread, and there it stood for the second time, in the Suggested prayer for the day, "Dear God, in the words of the song writer: 'Oh Lord please light the fire, That once burned bright and clear, Replace the lamp of my first love, That burned with holy fear.' Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name, amen”. I was astonished and WOWed! I asked the Lord what is this about of the First Love he is revealing, not only once but twice?

The day before, I attended a meeting with the SCGS moms’ prayer group and there were two visiting guests in town. Luci, who addressed us and said something about Albert Einstein, was expelled from school at an early stage because he was not able to catch up with his lessons. And what Einstein said later in life was that he was a slower learner and it is not because he is incapable. I immediately thought of Xandra and I told myself to research on Einstein’s early childhood.

So, after my e-daily bread, I researched for Einstein’s childhood. For the third time, God showed me the word “First Love”, even though this first love was for Einstein’s first love in science, I knew God led me there for a purpose and it is not by coincidence that He reveals the word “First Love” 3 times in one morning just within a short span of time (less than 1 hour). I knew this was really serious.

God shows me that the First Love message was not only for Lena but for all whom I am worshiping the Lord and doing BS with. For older Christians who are tired & weary, God wants to set the fire in them again. I cried. I thank the Lord and I told the Lord that yes, please restore back that First Love we have for him once again. Not only to restore the zeal and fire in me, but for all my sisters in Christ, whom I have been fellowshipping with, weeks after weeks. I sent another message with tears welling up again to Jean, Nina, Phoebe, Xandra, Charlotte, Yolande, and Lena again.

The day went by with daily chores and driving Gayle to and back from her enrichment classes. That evening, I spent a wonderful night out with my siblings at a UBS function at the Command House. After I got home, I did some reading from my BS book ‘A purpose Driven Life’ on Day 12. And for the forth time in a day, God reminded me of his ‘First Love’! It talks about Rev 2:1-7 again on how we may have been passionate in the past and have lost that desire. That was the same problems of the Christians in Ephesus, they have left their first love. Now, I know that I am supposed to share this to as many tired Christians and even to my siblings and church mates who are all walking in the Lord fervently but may have lost their first love.

It was really a very interesting day of practicing God’s presence. Thank you Lord. May your will be done in me and my family. Restore in us your first love. Fill us, Lord. Fire us up. Blessed be the name of the Lord!

“I am a Little Teacher for Jesus”
14 September 2008

Term 4 started with Wednesday & Thursday being English and Chinese Orals respectively for Primary 1. I still have no idea why the oral exams have to start so early. Anyway the stressed of getting Gayle ready for the Oral Exams paid off a little when she came home and said, “O mum, my teacher said that I was very good”. And all I could offer my excited daughter was, “You sure that’s what your teacher said”. Even though it was really nice to hear of such comments, I was not sure if it was real or Gayle has exaggerated.

But what really paid off for all those stressful days was after school on Thursday; Gayle asked me, “Mum, do you know that I am a Little Teacher for Jesus?” I almost choked! Hiding my emotions, I asked Gayle, why did you say that?

“You know my friend, Chloe Ang,” she continued, “Her dad is a Buddhist and mum a Christian. Chloe said that she is a Buddhist and I asked her if her god was alive. She said her god died long ago and asked me what about mine? I said that my God, Jesus also died long ago but He rose 3 days after his death and He is alive. Chloe then asked if my God is living in Singapore? I said no, not in Singapore, but He is alive in Heaven!”

I have never imagined that our little girl at 7 years old could even witness for Christ. I am ashamed for stereotyping my God, and limiting what He can do. He uses anyone and everyone regardless of our age. It’s our hearts He is after.

My only thought right now is, ‘Lord, forgive me for not being able to see the seed you have planted in our little girl has grown into a fruit. Open our eyes Lord and help us to be sensitive to the leading of your Holy Spirit and to serve you with a willing heart. Lord I pray that you will use us as a family to reach out to all around us and to the end of the earth. Amen!

Way to go, Gayle! Mum and Dad love you so much. Continue to Live for Christ!

God's Goodness - Posted by Hugh 9 September 2008

It’s been a crazy and hectic past couple of months. But in all of it, I continue to see God’s hand and control in all of it.

Putting together 3 events on the same wk in Aug was a real test and stretch of faith. First, there was the Singapore Fireworks Celebrations, followed by STB Tourism Careers Exhibition, and the ASEAN Economic Ministers’ Meetings. And not forgetting the continued pitch for the APEC Meetings, amongst others.

There’s so much to be thankful, but I guess I’ll just focus on a few key areas, where we can all truly see God’s goodness.

Test of human resource
Putting together these 3 events required some really good HR planning. I wasn’t really sure if all of the team was up to the challenge. So, much prayer went into this area. We prayed for months, and was blessed with others who prayed alongside Yinn & I. And we pulled it off, with a team made up of several interns. I must say God brought to us the right people at the right time.

Health
One major concern was the health of the team. Many were going through stress levels they had never ever been through before. Again, we had been praying for good health for the whole team, and again God answered our prayers. Even one of our staff who was pregnant was well protected by Him physically throughout the whole period. We give Him praise for His hand of protection and strength.

Weather
A couple of days before our fireworks celebrations, God prompted me to pray for the weather. This was rather strange at that point in time, as the weather was really quite fine. Anyway, I prayed for it, nonetheless. Then I get an sms from Peter Loke saying that he was praying for us. Instinctively, I replied to him, asking him to also pray for the weather.

Little did I know that Yinn had also replied to Peter asking him to pray for the same thing!

The next evening, over dinner, Yinn brings up that earlier that morning, she felt prompted by the Holy Spirit to fast “for the weather”. Only then did we realize that we had both been led by Him to prayer for the weather.

The day of the actual event, it rained, and rained. We started getting calls from the public if the event would be cancelled. By faith, we pushed on, getting the entire event ready. We continued to lift up our prayers to Him onsite. And God, in His amazing timing, worked His miracle and stopped the rain just before we were due to start the show! In fact, I am also told by my cousin, Johnny, who was at the event, that when he heard that it started drizzling again just before the start of the fireworks show, he too prayed, and the rain stopped! Praise be to God.

The next day was even worse. It rained heavily from morning, with no end in sight. Having seen His faithfulness the night before, we were sure that He will not fail us. This time, it rained heavily till abt 30min before the start of the event, and the rain stopped only about 15min before showtime. But that was enough for us to get the show going, and despite a drizzle that started half way into the show, it did nothing to stop us putting together another successful event!

Often in church or gatherings, we will say “God is good, all the time; all the time, God is good!” Truly, the last few months has shown us that this is true. Not that we’ve never experienced it before, but it was another round of soaking in His goodness.

As God allows us to go through challenges, He allows us opportunities to be blessed by Him. And for that, we want to say a big “Thank You!” Lord!

Oldham Hall Thanksgiving

left to right, back: Gayle, Hugh, Lynn & Eng Kheng.

left to right, front; Vickie, Tina, Katherine, Lydia, Sylvia, Janet & Yinn

Left to right: Hugh, Yinn, Janet, Vickie, Eng Kheng, Lynn, Tina, Lydia, Katheine & Sylvia

Hugh and I with Gayle have been so blessed as a family to be able to serve as Befrienders to some Singapore scholars residing in Oldham Hall. Together with Lynn and Eng Kheng we have 6 beautiful PRC girls whom we have made friends with and they have made us feel so young once again.

Janet Ji & Sylvia Huang are from Chengdu Sichuan; Katherine Yu, Lydia Ya Hui, Tina Tian & Vickie Chen are from Yantai Shandong. They are all in Anderson Secondary School and are so hard working that they literally have very little time to spare for social gatherings. They arrived in November 2007 to embark on an English Language bridging course before the semester start in the New Year. Struggling with the language initially, I think they all have mustered the language the best they can.

As we got to know them better, we found out that these girls are very talented. All skilled with different specialty from music to arts and to sports, they all excel in their area of love. Yet, each of them is so different in characters but the dynamic mix is perfect.

From the time we got to know them, these were the things we have been and thru;

Ice Cream treat
Botanic Gardens
Birthday Celebration for Tina in January
Chinatown CNY light-up
CNY lunch
Oldham Hall CNY celebrations
Birthday Celebration for Vicky in April. We did it in Oldham hall because she injured her leg.
Birthday Celebration for Sylvia’s in May. A Cook-up at our place, that’s when we found out that these girls are quite “siao jie” (jiao zhe/dumpling soup)
Birthday Celebration for Lynn in August. A barbeque delight!
Singapore fireworks Celebrations in August
Oldham Hall Thanksgiving in August

We are sure there will be more activities to come and look forward to meeting and sharing with them.

During the June holidays, the girls went back to China to spend time with their families and friends. We also went off for a short holiday in Bali. When school started, I was back in routine with Gayle and was struggling to get back with the schedule. I realized that it is not good to over relax during the school holiday and have to struggle when school reopens. It is really difficult to get back to routine after that. I was pushing so hard to get back to the structure so much so that we forgot to check with our girls upon their return to Singapore and school!

However I begin to discover how much I missed our friends by end July when the routine kicks in. So we tried arranging for an outing again with a BBQ on National Day (that’s the same surprise Birthday Celebration for our dearest sister Lynn). Wow, you would not believe how difficult it is to organize an outing with the girls. Thou the above list of activities may seem long, but each co-ordination of their availability actually takes a long time to plan. No, I am not complaining but the fact is that our little friends are really very serous with their school academic and we totally encourage them to be.

Our first breakthrough in sharing the gospel with them, besides the outreach in Dec, was during Lynn’s BD celebration. The opportunity presents itself and the girls were asking lots on how the bible was put together, and who wrote the bible, etc. We were very glad that God has provided the openings for us and we will continue to pray for more opportunities to share God's love with them and pray for God to work in their heart.

May Jesus be glorified always!

Body Language

Sometimes it is so frustrating when someone says something and does another. Sometimes I view it as a choice of action the person chooses and this action speaks louder then the million words said.

So remember when we do anything, let’s to do it with all our heart and soul. Half heartedness is as good as not doing anything or saying it at all.

“I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me.” (Ph4:13). “Whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” (1 Cor 10: 31)

At the end, in my opinion, it’s really a choice we make.

I am inclined to believe that when we make a choice, we will live it to our fullest ability with actions that support that choice. May I be constantly be renewed by the Holy Spirit and not be conformed to this world. (Ro 12:2). May my action speak louder than the all words I can offer!

Our Body Language speaks louder than words!

Posted by Hugh 19 Feb 2008

Several months ago, Peter Loke actually told me to start a journal. At that pt in time, I didn't really see the benefit of it, nor did I think I would have the time. But over the past few weeks, God has been working in me that there is real meaning in writing a journal, and tracing the goodness of our God. So, here's my 1st attempt at it, although not so much in a conventional style of a journal, but I think it'll serve its purpose still. Someday, when I find the time to learn, I'll get a blog going and move with time! ha ha.

Anyway, there's so much to write about how God's been working over the past year, but I think I'll leave that to another time when I can really find lots of time to summarise all that's happened in 2007 and early 2008.

But for today, here's just a couple of things:
We won the tender for the ASEAN Economic Ministers' Meeting 2008! Now why is this such a milestone? After all, in terms of size, it's not really one of our BIG projects, it'll be a mid size project. And working on such projects really mean pain...... strrrrreeeessssss......etc etc. But the significance of it really is God's faithfulness.

This was a tender we worked through in Dec, submitted in early Jan. This was a time of real challenges as we were running into a real shortage of staff, and Yinn, Gayle and I had planned our trip to USA; so we won't around to work on the tender. We really only started working on it in early Jan, and had less than a week to put it all together. And somehow, I think we did come up with a sufficiently good submission, actually just the night before tender submission dateline.
The next challenge came when they called us in for a presentation, and I was away on a business trip. So, Dawn and Eunice went to do the presentation, and they are not the most eloquent people. And they were worried, maybe even scared. And all I could really do was to tell them that I would be praying for them, which of course I did lah.

I remembered messaging them to find out how it went, and the reply was "Not much hope". The vibes from the client was one of "disinterest". Our competitor went with their bosses, and apparently spent quite a long time in the presentation room, and they heard lots of laughter coming from the room. Again, all I could say was "Will pray", and again, of course pray lah.
Somehow there was this peace that this project was ours. When I got back to Singapore, the client had called us in for a meeting. I finally got to meet the client, and somehow I sensed that this project was really going to be ours.

Then came the real test. We will told results would be out in about a wks time. After a week, we were told to wait another 3-5 days. And Chinese New Year went without hearing anything from the client. 2 weeks after Chinese New Year, Dawn received a call from the client and informed her that the results will be posted on Gebiz in about 2-3 hrs time. Now this is really weird. After years of working on government tenders, we never ever get anyone who would actually call to tell you to check the results on Gebiz 2-3hrs later. Again, Dawn said, "Doesn't sound good man". Eunice and Jessica said "I think gone already". The worse part was after checking Gebiz for the results for about 2 weeks, the results were still not posted! And we tried to call the client, but could never reach them. This was a real test of faith. Could it really be that I was reading wrong all this while, that perhaps this really wasn't our project after all?

Today added a further challenge. As we are making decisions on who to employ after going through 3 rounds of interviews, it suddenly hit me that maybe we shouldn't be employing as many as we wanted. The global economy is so unstable now, what if things get worse? I'm sure that's going to affect our business. I actually dropped an email to Yinn on this, and she too had no answer. All we could agree on was to pray about it. And I asked God to give me a sign to let us know what we should do, and some how I had in the back of my mind this ASEAN Economic Ministers' Meeting, that if God wants us to recruit the original nos. of staff, he would grant us this project.

Guess what? We got a call from our client at abt 3pm to tell us WE GOT THE JOB!!! PTL!
So, now you understand why winning this tender is so important. Because it showed me that I was not listening wrongly to God, that God put us through a test, and God showed us that He is real in our lives and doesn't fail us. And now I also know we are to recruit to the maximum number of employees. Thank you God for being so direct this time.

Now, the question is: who do we hire. Haven't got a clear answer on that one yet. But I'm sure God will again prove faithful and show us.

On to another story. Yinn sent me an email that Gayle sent her. It put a BIG smile on my face, even tears in my eyes. See, Yinn had sent Gayle an earlier email using "u" in place of "you". And Gayle's reply was, "Dear Tan Poh Yinn Next time dont write a u for a y.o.u" ha ha. Way to go Gayle. You're so funny. I'm so thankful for my family. They have really been God's blessing to me.

I guess that's all for today. Hopefully I'll be able to keep up this journey of writing. It won't be a daily affair, I'm sure, but as the Lord leads..... Hopefully, will be able to chart how God's working in my life.